On the 12th day of Christmas, Sam Bankman-Fried scored a US$250mln bail secured against the California home of his parents in one of the largest pre-trial bonds in history.
The lyrical cadence could use some work, but the message is clear: The former crypto tycoon and head of collapsed cryptocurrency exchange FTX will be celebrating his 30th Christmas on planet Earth from the comforts of home.
It must be a relief for the entrepreneur, who faces life behind bars on a litany of criminal fraud charges linked to FTX’s collapse.
Just last week, he was perishing in the Bahamas’ one and only Fox Hill prison, notorious for overcrowding, poor nutrition, inadequate sanitation, and inadequate medical care, per a US human rights report.
Or maybe it wasn’t so bad for him: According to statements made by prison guards, SBF enjoyed perks including vegan food, television, and even air conditioning.
One wonders if he might actually miss the place after what could be a crushingly awkward Christmas dinner shared with family members, some of whom now have their property in his recently unshackled hands.
There’s little chance of SBF doing a runner though. In addition to having his passport taken away, his leg has been fitted with an electronic monitor.
Judge Gabriel Gorenstein also placed a restriction on making transactions above US$1,000.
Unfortunately, it could be a mooted affair on the 25th.
Former girlfriend and business associate Caroline Ellison is unlikely to make an appearance for Christmas dinner.
She and FTX co-founder Gary Wang all too happily threw their one-time business partner under the bus by pleading guilty to criminal fraud charges in return for cooperating with the upcoming trial.
Perhaps Shark Tank entrepreneur Kevin O’Leary aka Mr. Wonderful will show up.
O’Leary came out batting for SBF when everyone else was out for his blood, stating with vigour that “(SBF) was one of the most brilliant traders in the crypto universe” in a post-collapse chat with the Crypto Banter podcast.
“He also built one of the most robust platforms we used FTX actively it was a very robust platform that allowed us to get information on a compliant basis, so I really liked what he built,” said O’Leary when asked if he would invest in SBF again.
O’Leary’s rhetoric has since calmed down, although just yesterday he Tweeted that “I’d rather invest in an entrepreneur who has failed before, than one who assumes success from day one”.
I’d rather invest in an entrepreneur who has failed before, than one who assumes success from day one.In fairness, we don’t know who he was talking about, so it could have been in relation to another failed investment.— Kevin O'Leary aka Mr. Wonderful (@kevinolearytv) December 22, 2022
The prospect of a nut roast may not be enticing enough anyway.